


Everyone has a secret

by campgangsey



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M, i dont fucking know what it is, i'm bored is all i know, sorry - Freeform, take place on cdth, they all are uni student, trc x aftg crossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:54:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21949144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/campgangsey/pseuds/campgangsey
Summary: Everyone has a secret. The Mysterious Andrew Minyard, The Weirdo Neil Josten, The oh-so-amazing Adam Parrish, and The Scary Ronan Lynch.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Everyone has a secret

**Author's Note:**

> in case you didn't read the tag, i don't know what i'm doing.

Neil Josten had forgotten how many times he told himself he was going to die before he even experiences university.

Yet here he was.

Sitting next to a man that adored by so many people, Adam Parrish, in a coffee shop minutes away from his college after class.

"Are you sure you don't want your phone anymore?" Adam asked. His voice was soft and his eyebrow was furrowed.

Adam Parrish was magic. He had an elegant face--the one that made Neil sure God was very thoughtful when he carved Adam's face. He carried an aura that made him untouchable yet very easy to approach.

Everyone adored him. He saw how people looked at him when he walked around the university. He saw how Adam was always around people like he was the center of the solar system.

Being Adam Parrish must be nice, Neil thought.

"Yes," Neil said without any hesitation. He didn't realize this before, but now he knew to carry his old phone was like carrying everything in his past.

Painful.

Adam frowned. "I'm going to keep it for awhile."

"You don't have to. Just ... throw it somewhere. I don't care."

"Okay," Adam smiled, "what happens? You don't have to tell me, but know that I'll listen to you and I'll never tell anyone your secret."

Neil sipped his black coffee.

Adam Parrish was weird. How could one walk around making sure other people were okay? Didn't he have his own problem?

"I'm fine," he said. An automatic response.

It wasn't the first time someone asked him whether he was okay. He didn't like the thought of anyone trying to get into his business. He also knew, knowing his business wouldn't do any good for anyone. "Fine" was a good response. People didn't believe him, yes, but at least it shut them up.

"Okay," Adam responded. His smile was still glued on his face. "So, what do you think? Do you like college?"

They started to talk about something else. Something that hadn't anything to do with Neil's phone or how Adam and Neil met this morning.

Neil hated this kind of conversation. In his eyes, it was unnecessary. perhaps, it was because he lived his whole life running to the point where small talk was something that only would slow him down. _At least_ , Neil thought, _he didn't ask anything about this morning._

"Oh, Andrew!" Adam shouted, cutting his own sentence about one of his favorite lecturers.

Neil turned his head towards the direction of Adam's eyes only to find a small blonde guy standing behind the counter. He had a bored expression on his face and he didn't even waste any of his time to glance to Adam.

Adam, who sense that he wouldn't get any sort of recognition from Andrew, smiled while lowering his hand that had been waving frantically to Andrew.

"I swear to God," Adam whispered.

"Who is that?" Neil asked. He liked to think it was because he wanted to respect Adam and have a conversation with him, but God knew the angry blonde intrigued him. No one rejected Adam Parrish.

"Andrew Minyard," Adam said, "we are in the same classes. I try to talk to him, but he's impossible."

Neil didn't have any idea how to reply, but he decided to nod his head as a way to tell Adam that he understand what he meant.

Neil wanted to tell Adam that he didn't have to feel responsible for every kid in the university, but he felt it was a bit rude. No matter what, Adam helped him with his panic attack this morning. Being rude to the man sounded like he didn't appreciate the help.

At the same time, Adam was his own person. Who was Neil to tell Adam how he should live his life?

\---

Neil's favorite thing was running. Running in both literal and figurative meaning.

He was running from his past. Running from the eyes of his father. Running from the big house where all of his nightmares began.

Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep and his monster had its hands around his neck, he decided to run. It didn't matter whether it was night or morning or noon, running was the only way for him to be able to rip away his monster's hand.

Running was his ticket to freedom.

It was five in the morning when his monster finally left him alone. He ran back to his dorm room.

On his way, he could see someone sat in the rooftop. Weird, he thought since no one supposed to be there. The rooftop was off-limit.

But he didn't give it a second thought. It wasn't his business. He couldn't care less about what happened to other people.

That's it until he could feel something fell on his head before it fell on the ground.

It was a cigarette bud. He picked it up and saw that it still flickered with fire. He looked up to the man on the rooftop. He couldn't see clearly who that was, but he was going to make sure that the person knew what he did was wrong.

With that, he walked into the dormitory, climbed the stairs until he met with the door which leads him to the rooftop. He opened the door and stepped out. He could see a man sat in on the edge of the roof with a bottle of beer sitting beside him.

"Hey!" Neil said.

The man looked up. _Andrew Minyard_ , Neil thought after he could make out the face clearly.

"What?" Andrew asked. A bored expression still on his face. Neil concluded that it was how Andrew looked on daily basis.

Neil dropped the cigarette on the ground and stepped it with his shoes. He did it all while fixing his stare on Andrew. After that, he picked up the cigarette before he threw it to Andrew's direction. He didn't know where that thing landed, but he knew it was enough to piss off the blonde man.

"What the fuck?!" Andrew yelled.

"Next time, make sure you know where to throw your trash, if you don't, maybe just open your mouth."

From where he stood, Neil could see how Andrew looked angry. It only lasted for a few seconds before it washed away with Andrew's original bored expression.

"Did Adam tell you to do this?" Andrew asked.

"Why would Adam tell me to do that?"

"You were with Adam, it means you're his minion."

"I'm no one's minion."

"Every stupid person is Adam's minion," Andrew said before he drank his beer.

"If there's one person that stupid here, it's you."

Andrew stood up. Neil's body stiffens because of the sudden movement. His fist clenched when Andrew walked to him.

Andrew was shorter than him, but God knows he was very intimidating and Neil could think 1001 way Andrew would hurt him at this very moment. Suddenly, Neil realized how stupid he was. He should've let Andrew be and not marched here to confront the blond man.

It wasn't like he didn't know how to fight. He knew. The bruise on his face and on his back could confirm it. But if there was one thing that he didn't want, it was to add a new bruise on his body or to involve with yet another fight.

He was tired of fighting. Fighting wasn't the key to freedom. It was the key to another mess.

"Whatever," Andrew said when he finally stood right in front of Neil, "just tell Adam Parrish to stop bothering me. I'm not his minion and never will be." With that, Andrew continued his walk, leaving Neil alone on the cold rooftop.

Neil let out a soft breath.

Andrew didn't hurt him.

\---

The week went by uneventfully. Neil didn't speak to either Adam or Andrew. He saw them in daily basis, but pretended to didn't see them or ignored them.

Neil thought it was for the best.

He didn't like the company of Andrew. He didn't like anyone trying to pry into his business. Sure, he knew Adam meant well, but still his problem wasn't something he would like to share.

What would even happen if he told Adam the truth? The man wouldn't be able to help him. His monster was in his head, his monster was in the past that appeared every now and then in the form of nightmare.

"Neil?"

Neil turned his head only to find Adam was already standing right behind him with a small smile planted on his face.

"Adam!" Neil said, surprised. He thought he wasn't going to have any other encounter with the man, but he should have know by now that the world like to go against him.

"Andrew talked to me yesterday, he said something about how I should stop telling anyone, especially you, to go to him. Do you know what he meant?" Adam asked. There was no anger in there, just curiosity.

"Oh. Andrew and I ... talked for a bit and I said something stupid. That's probably what he means. I told him that you didn't send me, but I guess he doesn't believe me," Neil explained.

"That's okay," Adam said, his smile widens. "Anyway, I'm going out with my boyfriend and some other friends, do you want to join us?"

Neil shook his head. "No. No. I have something to do."

"C'mon Neil. It'll be fun."

Neil was about to decline the offer again when he caught the way Adam looked at him. His eyes flickered with hope as if Neil coming to lunch with him was going to change his life forever.

"Okay," Neil finally said, successfully made Adam's smile widen.

Neil realized he wouldn't be able to say no to Adam.

\---

It turned out Adam went to the café where Andrew worked. The same café they went a few days ago. Andrew, just like before, stood behind the counter with a bored expression. Neil couldn't believe that the manager hadn't fired him yet. With that kind of look, Andrew must have made some customers runaway, right?

Neil could feel Andrew's eyes on them. Especially him. Neil looked up, he studied Andrew's expression but wasn't able to detect what Andrew actually thought.

"Neil, this is my boyfriend Ronan. Ronan, this is my friend, Neil," Adam introduced him to the bald man that sat next to him. He also introduced him to the others on the same table. Neil couldn't remember the name of every single person, but he figured he wouldn't meet any of them again after this.

A friend, that was how Adam referred to him. Neil thought it was ridiculous. He barely knew Adam and Adam knew nothing about him--apart from the fact that he was afraid of his own phone.

Adam Parrish was weird, how could one person walk around calling everyone around him a friend?

Neil watched in silence as everyone around him talked. Everyone on the table was quite talkative. They joked around loudly which made them receive some odd looks from other customers.

From his observation, Neil could see that Ronan and Adam were really different in so many ways. If Adam did well in university, Ronan wasn't even a university student. And if Adam was soft--the way he talked and the way he treated others--Ronan was the exact opposite. Neil had lost count on how many times Ronan swore in the last fifteen minutes.

When one of the girls suggested playing a card, Neil thought enough was enough. He didn't know how to play cards, and it wasn't something he liked to announce.

Neil stood up from his chair. "It's been nice, but I have some essays I haven't done yet. I need to do it now," Neil said. It wasn't a lie. He did have some essays he needed to write, but Neil still had some days left before the deadline and he didn't feel the need to do it now.

Adam nodded with a smile. The others bid him goodbyes.

Neil walked out of the café, glad that the tiring activity was finally over. After a few minutes, though, Neil wished he stayed at the café.

He was walking when someone suddenly walked beside him. "The boss wanted to meet you," he said. Neil didn't have any option but to allow the man to shove him inside a car. The driving lasted for twenty minutes and as he walked out of the car, someone shoved him into another.

That was when he finally met his uncle's eyes.

He smiled. The kind of smile that he made out of politeness.

Neil's relationship with his uncle could be called as a unique one. He didn't know much about his uncle but if it wasn't because of him, he probably had died at this point--just like he had been saying to himself since forever. At the same time, he wished he didn't know his uncle. Seeing him felt the same as seeing his father. Painful. Nightmare. His uncle knew this, he had assured Neil that he would help, that he wasn't his father. But _still_.

"Neil. How are you?" Stuart asked with a smile. The kind of smile that couldn't be called as bright, but the close one. One of Stuart's way to make Neil comfortable around him.

"I'm fine," Neil said. He liked to think it wasn't a lie because yes, he was fine if he didn't count the occasional panic attack.

"If there's a problem, even the smallest one, you'll call me, alright?"

Neil nodded.

They started to talk about something else. Stuart filled him with everything he needed to know about his father. The man was now dead, but that wasn't mean everything was over. There were so many things they needed to do. Stuart told him he would take care of everything, and all Neil had to do was to pursue the education he wanted and needed.

"You obviously don't want to be in this path," Stuart told him before, "and that's okay."

"So you don't have to worry," Stuart said, concluding everything he told Neil. "Your father's dead, and so everyone behind him. There's nothing left, Neil. You're free."

"Thank you," Neil chocked.

"You can go back now. Again, if you need anything, you know you just need to reach out to me."

Neil nodded. Everything that happened after that was very blurry for Neil. He remembered someone shoved him into the other car. They drove and dropped him at the exact same place they found him before.

 _Free_. That was what Stuart told him.

_Free. Free. Free. Free._

_Freedom._

Neil didn't think there was a time in his life where he could be free. It was sound like a fairytale before.

Freedom was expensive thing for Neil. He didn't think he would ever be able to afford it.

Living in a hell where everyone was a monster and ready to eat him anytime, Neil learned that freedom was a privilege. One that he couldn't get.

But Stuart told him he was free.

_Free. Free. Free. Free. Freedom._

He walked around for an hour before he decided to get back to the dorm room. It was when he met Andrew for the second time that day. The blond man was leaning on his car with a cigarette between his fingers.

"Hey, Liar!" Andrew greeted with a smirk on his face.

"I'm not a liar," Neil said. He told himself to ignore Andrew and go to his room where his bed waiting for him. But it was like his body was no longer under his brain's command because the damn legs walked to cut the distance between him and Andrew instead.

"Stop lying!" Andrew said. "You said you weren't Adam's minion, but you hang with him and those idiots. You told Adam you had an essay, but where were you, Neil?"

"It's not your business, Andrew."

"Who are they? They look like a mafia group."

Neil froze. "What the fuck, Andrew?! You followed me?"

"Well, I see someone bring you somewhere, and I just feel the need to."

Neil couldn't believe this. How could his uncle's man miss it? How could they not realize a certain man followed them and saw their interaction.

"I saw you with Adam too. You know, the day you were so freaked out because someone called your phone," Andrew said, he smirked when he saw how terrified Neil looked. Neil thought this was the first time he saw Andrew being anything other than bored or angry.

"Who are you, Neil?" Andrew whispered.

"I'm not a mystery, Andrew."

"But I'm going to solve you."

**Author's Note:**

> yes, you are going to see the rest of the gang later. again, sorry for this weirdness.


End file.
